Some comics seem to always think funny. Some have talked to me and I thought it was a conversation, but they were working comedy material. I told one man that I couldn’t tell when he was being serious or doing material. He said, “That’s the way it should be.” I thought, not if you want to truly communicate. I got so turned off. We were having a meal together, and I, disappointed, just ate in silence.
Another time, I shared a troubling story from my childhood with another comic. I thought we were having a conversation, but instead of having empathy, she was laughing. It wasn’t a funny story (though one could get comedy material from it). I felt very uncomfortable. “You think that’s funny?” She said, “Yes. If you don’t do something with it, I will.” I couldn’t understand why someone with a life of her own would want to use a piece of my life as if it were hers. I told her I will be writing that story but maybe not as comedy. I haven’t shared much with her since. I suspect she did use my story in her comedy, but I wouldn’t know that for sure. I presented the story in a storytelling event at Lehman Stages. I did include a bit of humor in it, but, overall, it was a serious and troubling story.
So, I am grateful to be part of a memoir workshop and also a poetry workshop, both meeting weekly. I need to get through the seriousness and pain of much of my life stories before I can begin to find the funny. It’s a longer journey, but that seems to be my process. I’m not a joke machine.
I’ve also had the pleasure of talking with comics who get what I’m saying. One shared that she took a long time before including comedy about her mom. Another shared in a serious conversation about his upbringing. There were no jokes in the conversation. When I saw him perform on stage, he turned some of that into hilarity. I knew the back story which made me appreciate it even more. Most of my comedy material did not begin as funny experiences.
Love to CGG-M ❤ ❤ ❤
Mindy Matijasevic
October 2022
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