A few days ago, I awoke due to my bladder. Opened my eyes and saw a dark moving thing on a box. It was a water bug. Before I could scream, the phone rang. It was my closest friend who is a man and doesn’t share my hysteria. I gave him a play-by-play as I picked up a fly swatter and smacked the water bug. It landed on the floor. It was on its back and struggling to live. As it moved, I screamed while holding the phone and the swatter, “It’s trying to live!” I felt so awful as I hit it again. It shot across the floor near a pile of my poems. It looked dead. My friend and I hung up since I had to pee so badly.
When I returned from the bathroom, I didn’t see the corpse where I left it. Now I was worried that it was crawling around somewhere. I put on my sneakers and got dressed. I decided I had to stomp and let creatures know I am the boss here. Then I saw that water bug crawling again in my foyer near the bathroom. I couldn’t believe how strong this thing is after being beaten. I took a wine bottle and put it on the water bug. The bottom of the bottle isn’t flat. It curves up and makes an air bubble. I then felt awful that the water bug was going to suffocate to death. But I couldn’t deal with any other way of handling it.
Later, I saw my buddy and updated him on the water bug situation. He laughed and asked if it will stay under the bottle for a year now. I said, “No. Just until you come up and get rid of it for me.” He laughed and said that he will.
Love to CGG-M ❤❤❤
Mindy Matijasevic
August 2021
I have to confess I laughed out loud several times in the middle of your story - I really think this is a standup piece with blow by blow. Personally, I could never handle knowing a water bug was under my wine bottle - I’d have to get him - notice I said HIM - out of my place ASAP! Thanks for this laugh . - I really needed it!
lolol I'm glad it made you laugh, and I'm glad it's not able to crawl around my apartment.
funny as hell. Hate those critters!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣