She So Funny

So the day began with my bladder ordering me awake.  The neighbor upstairs was doing his workout upstairs involving heavy equipment that he drags along his floor/my ceiling, and he drops weights and all kinds of things that make me feel I will die by ceiling.  So I couldn’t go back to sleep.  I was still tired and needed my dream time.  But I went out to get coffee and a bagel.

Physically, I have been feeling somewhat weak, so instead of going to my preferred store, I went to a closer store.  I asked for a buttered bagel lightly toasted.  When I got home, I saw I had a partially burnt roll lightly buttered.  We both spoke English well, so it wasn’t a misunderstanding.

I was hungry, so I ate most of it.  I wanted to go back to sleep, but the MF-er upstairs was doing his thing – treating the apartment like a gym.  It wasn’t built to be a gym, so this is a problem.  He seems to also run track up there.  I’ve made contact with him twice in the past and even told the super.  I have not told the landlord yet because I was hoping we could solve this without doing that.  In other ways he seems like a decent person.  I might have liked him if he didn’t live above me.  I took a big stick I have and banged on the ceiling a lot.  He eventually stopped.  

I checked email and was encouraged by an email from the executive director of City Lore.  He asked for my okay to include a poem of mine in the Corona Archives and to use in a future exhibit. Oh yes!  Fine with me. The poem was about when we heard Biden was announced the winner of the presidential election.  He said I caught the moment.  That felt good.  I need to feel good.

I went back to sleep.

Disturbing dreams as usual, but they have to happen so that I may have some peace when awake.

Woken by someone knocking on my door.  It was the delivery of a package from a beautiful woman I was lucky to have as a boss for four years several years ago.  She made a difference in my life, and I often relive times with her in my mind just to feel better. 

I haven’t opened the package yet; I like to elongate the anticipation.

I fell back asleep, and then it was night.  See how topsy-turvy my life has become?  I lost my job before the pandemic and then everything just became harder.  But honestly, with the new administration at that job, I wouldn’t have lasted there anyway.  It became almost the opposite of what it was 18 years earlier when I began working there. 

I went out to some stores.  In the Mexican place where I was waiting for my chicken tacos, a man who is a regular in the neighborhood, came into the store (which is small and only allows one person at a time now) to try to sell me a pocketbook for $5.  The owner told him he couldn’t be there without a mask.  He left, and on his way out, told me, “I just want to get something to eat.”  I told him, “I know.”  I got my tacos, paid with a five-dollar bill and got a dollar back.  When I left the store, I gave him the dollar.  There are days when I am searching pockets, under couch pillows, old pocketbooks, etc. for change. So I know one day I might miss that dollar, but tonight, I was able to spare it.  He thanked me and said, “God bless you.”

When I returned, I checked my mail and there was a fat envelope from my friend Liz who I met in my twenties at a corporate job. She was one of the rare ones with humanity.  She kept me afloat during those trying years.  I haven’t opened that yet either. 

I often feel God has blessed me even if as a child, I wondered if God knew I was here.

  5th night of Hanukkah

So much love to CGG-M. 💚 💛 💜