It’s been a while, I know. In so many ways I feel like I’m pushing through molasses. There are so many things I’ve neglected. In those ways, I depress myself.
Day after day, it’s one horror after another. Yet I still watch the news. I still read the news.
Some days ago, my buddy and I decided to try having breakfast together at an outdoor diner in Yonkers. I actually sat in his car which I hadn’t in months. The place in Yonkers did everything right. The paper menus were one-use only and then tossed. The tables were disinfected and more than 6 feet apart in their parking lot which they turned into a tent by having a tarp providing shade. The wait staff was masked, gloved, and seemed glad to be working.
At some point, I walked to the curb to have a cigarette. I was staring at the traffic. Across the street, a white man sat in his double-parked car. It seemed he was waiting for someone. A black man entered his own parked vehicle, but was having difficulty getting his car out of the spot. He got out, walked over to the double-parked car and said something. The white man nodded, started his car and pulled up, giving the other man more room. The black man was able to get his car out, and he drove off. Nothing about this would have gotten my attention normally since this was an ordinary event, but it struck me because of the man who fell asleep in his car at a Wendy’s drive-thru. Nobody, to my knowledge, knocked on his window to say, “You have to move your car” or “You’re holding up the line.” Instead the police were called, and I don’t have to tell you what that led to. Another death of an unarmed black man by the police.
What has chilled me most has been the hangings. It really got to me when a noose was hanging from a tree in Van Cortland Park in my Bronx. When I read the article, it got worse. Bronx people reported it to the 50th precinct. The police response was infuriating.
I was awake much of the night. The image was haunting me. I felt helpless until I didn’t. I realized I could do something right from my living room. I sent the link to my local, well-respected newspaper. I asked them to please follow up on the police indifference. This morning, I received an email from them thanking me and informing me they are investigating.
It felt better to know that even if I can’t risk being in crowds marching, I can still do something.
Much love and concern for CGG-M. ❤