Special Bronx Moments Even During Crisis

I was standing on line at the liquor store in my neighborhood a few days 

back, and in front of me was a couple.  The man was purchasing a lot of wine.  Their bill was over $60.  The man told the worker, “Ya’know, we’re stocking up for the coronary.”  We all burst out laughing.  I’m sure he didn’t mean that, but that’s how it came out.

He turned around to see who was laughing.  We all were.  He recognized 

the man behind me.  They slapped five and did fancy handshakes, and hugged.  My eyeballs bulged at all the hand contact they had.  The girlfriend looked at me, and I said, “So much hand touching.”  She agreed and told him, “You were just talking about that.”  He didn’t seem to connect it.  Then I contributed, “That was a lot of hand touching.”  He replied, “Oh no, we’re cured.  If you were in Orchard Beach water, you’re cured.” 

Some laughed, but I didn’t.  It concerns me, and, at the same time, I love 

the humor and coping of my brother and sister Bronxites.

I was reminded of when the deportations began to be a daily fear.  I was 

in a store in my neighborhood.  The Mexican man behind the counter was telling an African customer, “You better speak good English, or they will deport you.”  While I was horrified at what was happening to so many families, they were laughing.  I admire the ability to endure, which is the definition of strength.

As a comic, I should be able to make jokes about the madness, but my 

process is so much slower it seems.  From horrifying to funny takes more time for me.

This evening I had to go to the store.  I also had to ask for credit.  This is not easy for me.  I feel embarrassed and just find it hard.  But I did.  The Arab bodega nearby, that I’ve frequented for years, has been so good to me.  They gave me credit with a nonjudgmental and generous attitude, and I now have bread and peanut butter (and, I’m ashamed to say, cigarettes).  What a relief.  I needed something other than the pasta and sauce I have.

I’m glad I don’t date.  I’ve lived through our people dying in the Vietnam 

War, race riots, 9/11, the AIDS crisis.  With AIDS, we had to worry about exchanging bodily fluids.  But now, with the Coronavirus, we are supposed to stay 6 feet away from one another.  There’s no penis or condom that long. 

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I’m likely going to announce the cancellation of the 3/20 comedy show on City Island.  It saddens me a lot, but it just may have to be.  It’s still up in the air. 

Safety and love to CGG-M.  💞