Once Again, I Am Being Tested For My Own Good

Oh my God, Bob Quatrone’s 4 Horse poetry reading was a great event.  Independently it was also special for me.  I sometimes get roaring laughter from a poetry audience since there’s no expectation to be funny, so when it is, the laughter is big, and that happened more than once.  The owner of the place heard my reading and seemed impressed.  The host told me I scare him.  LOL  I left on a natural high.  The attentive and spirited 4 Horse audience is amazing.  They appreciate my frankness more than any other area of my life does except for my best friend.  He and I appreciate each other’s realness a whole lot. 

In most other areas of life, I walk on thin ice.  But life is short, and I’m not going to waste it on phony crap. 

A co-worker friend attended the reading, arrived before me, and held a seat for me with his jacket.  It was fun to experience the reading with him.  That really added to the thrill of the event for me.  We tend to like the same kind of writing.

The experience was truly good for my spirit when writers whose work I love enjoy my writing as well.  Thank you for your support, Ron Kolm and Francine Witte.

Then the next morning, I had breakfast with my best buddy.  That is always wonderful.  Medicine for my soul.

Maybe all of that contributed to this.  I actually skipped take-out and went to the supermarket instead.  I bought food and cooked that evening.  

My apartment smelled of chicken baking in a regular oven.  It was a welcome change from what my apartment often smells like – cigarettes and other non-food items.  

And speaking of functioning, the next day, I did my laundry before going to a prose writing group I had been invited to be a part of.  I need a group that expects me to produce writing, but this may not be that group.  It is a small group – kept small deliberately.  It is just one woman who made it somewhat unpleasant.  I don’t know how much this can get better because I don’t think she can help herself.  I’ve learned a lot about the narcissistic personality disorder since my divorce war.  A recovery group has helped me significantly.  I’ll probably give the writing group another shot before I decide.  It is the difficult person who invited me to this small group after she heard me read a slice of memoir.  I had felt good about that, but now I have a feeling that this is yet another opportunity I’ve been presented with by the universe to see if I’ve grown.