True Confession: I Was With A Narc

 

 

 

 

I’m part of a support group called Recovery from Narcissistic Ex-Husbands.  One of the hardest things to get accustomed to initially was the shorthand.  They often call their ex or soon-to-be-ex their ex N or their stbx N.  Of course for the first month roughly, whenever I saw that, I thought of the “N” word.  Other times, they may use the terms narc, ex narc, stbx narc, my narc which of course to me sounds like a narcotics cop.  Whether it’s a shooting, police brutality, a drug bust, or a father brainwashing his child against his mother (and his own heart and sanity) it all comes down to this:

The group can be heartbreaking.  It has also been very helpful.  I do wish I knew of it when I was in mid-divorce.  These women know in detail about this situation more than I’ve heard from lawyers, judges, or court-appointed social workers.  These women, unlike those who seem to get pissed at me, don’t blame the victim.  They really deeply understand.  In sharing their experiences, I understand more about my own. 

And for now, I remain in an exclusive relationship with a woman who I had abandoned years ago to go down a dark path. 

We are working on forgiving me.  I hope she can.

drawing of me by Leah Yerpe