It's Been a Whirlwind

So much has happened since last week.  I expected to share it here.  Right now, it isn't possible.  So for now, I'm going to share some of my favorite memes. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





Sugar Momma by Rhonda Hansome

"Sugar Momma Rhonda"

Needs your vote now!

Vote many times for me right now!

Tell you friends!

Make me Curtis Sliwa's next EX-Wife

because he deserves the best EX!

Vote

HERE!

AND...

See comedian Rhonda Hansome featured in the Westchester Comedy Festival

Thursday April 23rd 8 PM at Elements Food & Spirits

Here's to Luigi

 

 

I have to bring my dog in to be put to sleep any day now.  He has a growth blocking most of his passage inside his rear.  In spite of that, he loves eating, insists on sharing my challah bread in particular and recently stole my remaining part of a cheese danish, bounded in the snow as he did as a puppy, wags at and communicates with his dog friends and even not-yet-friends, adores certain humans and demonstrates it, sniffs people with interesting smells on the knees of their jeans, etc.  He even runs sometimes like a younger dog.  His spirit is so alive most of the time.  So of course it feels terrible.  He would be 15 on June 1^st.  Surgery of that complexity in such an area is not really recommended for him at his age. 

The vet understood that he is enjoying so much about living still.  He also understood that I didn’t want his last experience to be a rectal exam, which was necessary to determine what was happening with the growth.  So he told me to increase the dose of the laxatives, he gave more antibiotics and pain relievers if needed, told me to take him to the park to have fun since he is hanging on so well, BUT as soon as he can’t poop, to be ready to say goodbye.  He said it would be agony if he got closed up totally.  So I have to not let that happen.

I am glad I wrote this because I have barely any more room left for grief on my chest.

When Luigi smelled a chicken sandwich I had, he was very interested and began his begging.  I said, “Don’t worry.  Of course I’m going to share with you.  I’m going to spoil you rotten!”

My buddy and I brought Luigi to my young adult son on Monday night for them to have some time together.  I am very glad we did.

Life is so everything, often at the very same time, so in addition to having to part with my darling Luigi, there’s work, family issues, financial concerns, and the Divorced Divas of Comedy Springtime Show is on Saturday.  Yes, no matter what else is happening, the show does go on.  There are still seats available.  http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/1361864  Laughter is guaranteed.  Great way to welcome the spring.  Leighann Lord will be closing the show.  In case you aren’t familiar with Leighann and her comedy, take a look here: www.veryfunnylady.com.  Then get your ticket and come to the show.  It would be wonderful to hear your laughter.

On Monday, March 30, 2015, I will be one of 3 featured poets for the Saturn Series Poetry Reading, 8pm, at Shades of Green, 125 East 15 Street.   www.shadesofgreenpub.com/

It seems Powell Burns does have the luck of the Irish because he also won a pair of tickets to “Clinton, the Musical” after winning a pair to “Hunter Gatherers.”  The other pair goes to Mindy Levokove, a co-worker and friend who I feel fortunate to know.

Repairs! by Rhonda Hansome

Well the construction men are here right now repairing my water damaged walls & ceiling!

I'm starting to like all this plastic draped over everything.

Come see me do stand-up.

 Like me. Follow me & all that Social Media stuff.

Leave a comment, I dare you!

Mainly, Welcome Spring!!!

People, I'm going to extend the drawing entry time, so if you meant to enter to win two tickets to "Clinton the Musical," you still can. 

 

I will announce the winners next blog (3/24/2015).  I have two pairs of tickets to give!  It's supposed to be "Hillary-ous."

If you have the

 you might win!  Either way, Happy St. Patricks Day!

 

 

 

Well folks, last week was a challenging week at work -- bitches be back-stabbin'.  Reminded me of Cinderella's stepsisters. 

 

I'm glad there are higher-ranking people who not only can see but also actually care about the students and the work I do.  I figure one day, I'll thank those who didn't let me feel too comfortable.  It urges me on with my creative pursuits.  In the meantime, my darling students (without knowing anything is going on) tell me things like, "Don't ever change.  There's no one like you."  I don't know how to convey to them how much they help me.  It is wonderful that the majority of my time there is spent with such real people. 

And now, let's bring in the spring.  Let's open our arms and embrace it.  Let's laugh 'til it hurts (in a good way, of course).


The Divorced Divas of Comedy

invite you to bring in the spring

with laughter!

Saturday, March 28, 2015

8pm (doors open at 7:15)

Clarion Theatre

309 East 26 Street

just off 2^nd Avenue

 

   

Ellen Orchid                       Mindy Matijasevic    

 

 

 

    Taffy Jaffe                           Leighann Lord

Get your ticket(s) here: http://divorceddivasofcomedyspringtimeshow.bpt.me

An Edmund Pettus Bridge Not Far Enough By Rhonda Hansome

So this week there were a dozen or so 50th year commemorative marches across the

And well it should be remembered.

What should not happen, thank you very much Lawrence O'Donnell (& a host of others)

is a name change of the bridge. 

In my not humble opinion, what should happen is that it never be forgotten that Edmond Pettus was a

Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan

who served in the Senate...

from 1897 until his death in 1907

Let's stop kidding ourselves America. Terrifying racism is woven through every stripe in Old Glory.  

We need to stop denying our history of enslavement.

I say we better recognize!

Embrace - Don't Try To Erase!

Racism is a basic part of our founding culture. Racism echoes in a systemic, institutionalized, sociological and psychological way, in every aspect of our lives.

Changing the name of this historic bridge can not go far enough.

Rhonda Hansome is a writer, actress/director & teaching artist, who does stand-up comedy. She can be seen regularly Broadway Comedy Club, on Mon. March 16th with TV pundit Nancy Giles at Dixon Place in The Mosquito & in April at The Westchester Comedy Festival.

Warming, Unboxing, and Another Drawing to Win Tickets

A week in the forties – eeeeewwwwwweeeeee!  Starting on International Women’s Day, my blood could more easily flow to my fingertips again. 

The night before, I had performed stand-up in the Unboxed Voices Variety Show at the Parkside Lounge, East Houston Street, NYC.  I had a lot of fun both as audience and as a performer in the show.  There were rappers, singer/musicians, poets, burlesque, and me doing comedy.  I am familiar with a number of people involved with Unboxed Voices, so it was so warm and friendly.  I felt liked before I began, and that helps me so much.  Life can’t always be like that, but I relish it when it is.    

March 7, 2015 at the Parkside Lounge

Afterwards, Robert Milnes (a talented musician/songwriter/singer, also known as Braxton Hicks, who once was my co-actor in an Unboxed Voices short play) and I each had a delicious hot dog at Katz’s before heading off in opposite directions on the F train.  This had topped a day of waiting for six stressful hours at the vet.  The day at the vet concluded as I had hoped, so though it contributed to my being behind schedule, by Saturday night, I came home to my non-traumatized dog, who was happily ready to eat and go for a productive walk. 

 

 

Now, who wants to win a pair of tickets to see "Clinton -- the Musical"??  Just let me know, and, again, I will pick names from a bowl with my eyes closed.

 

 

Clinton The Musical
New World Stages / Stage 4
340 West 50th Street
Performances begin March 25thclintonthemusical.com

“Ribald and entertaining! Clinton The Musical is every bit as outrageous as you might think. A fun, rude, roller-coaster reminder that American politics is often a circus—and sometimes we ought to pause to enjoy the show.” - The National Review. If President William Jefferson Clinton behaved like two different people—one moment noble, the next naughty—that’s because he was! Clinton The Musical explores the two very different sides of the 42nd President of the United States: “WJ,” the wholesome, intelligent one, and “Billy,” the randy, shameless one. With Hilary (Rodham) Clinton at their side, the two will handle issues from The White House to Whitewater, the sax and the sex, elections and erections, and in the process make history. Maybe. You cannot miss this hillary-ous new musical and outrageous double bill!



Ferguson D.O.J. Report By Rhonda Hansome

Ferguson’s law enforcement practices are shaped by the City’s focus on revenue rather than by public safety needs. 

This emphasis on revenue has compromised the institutional character of Ferguson’s police department, contributing to a pattern of unconstitutional policing,and has also shaped its municipal court, leading to procedures that raise due process concerns and inflict unnecessary harm on members of the Ferguson community. 

Further, Ferguson’s police and municipal court practices both reflect and exacerbate existing racial bias, including
racial stereotypes. 

Ferguson’s own data establish clear racial disparities that adversely impact African Americans. The evidence shows that discriminatory intent is part of the reason for these disparities. 

Over time, Ferguson’s police and municipal court practices have sown deep mistrust between parts of the community and the police department, undermining law enforcement legitimacy among African Americans in particular.

Rhonda Hansome is an actor, writer & director who does stand-up comedy and teaches students of all ages. Website updates any minute now!

There Are Places Religion Does Not Belong -- Up My Ass Is One Such Place

 

 

At one of my jobs, a religious co-worker decided to make me her project though I’m not sure what part of my behavior drew her to me.  It might be the comedy.  I hang fliers at work flaunting my divorced status in the title Divorced Divas of Comedy.  I warn her not to come to my shows since she doesn’t like curse words.  I’m not sure, but I think even anatomically correct language like vagina and penis are curse words to her.  Like God wants anyone to look at any part of themselves as if it were a curse.  If religion were forced up my ass, I’d probably have lost my relationship with God or never had the freedom to figure out a sense of God for myself.  I understand how so many atheists were once religious.  I can see how that would be a result.

So on one hand she tells me how I’m known for the lives I’ve touched and uplifted amongst the student body at our program.  But somehow I should be asking for forgiveness for saying “fuck.”  So I told her that if I cursed at someone and hurt them, that is not something I’d be proud of, but if I am saying, “I don’t know what the fuck to do,” I don’t want forgiveness.  I told her I wasn’t her religion.  I told her everyone has their own idea of what a sin is.  She doesn’t get it.  She doesn’t get that a belief is not a fact.  She doesn’t get that everyone believes they are right.  She doesn’t get that the job is not the place to be harassing me with scriptures.  I’m not on the fuckin’ train.  So the next day, I hung this above my desk.

If there is a next time, which there might not be because she sees that she created some serious distance between us, I might remind her that I have been penis-free long enough to become a saint in her religion where so much gets determined by what goes on between one’s legs, so if she needs to preach to and reform anyone, she should approach the unmarried fornicators on staff of which there are many.  

I just love when someone with kids from different unions thinks they should preach to me, who had one child when I was in my thirties and married… I mean if we are going to use their ancient standards. 

Meanwhile, from what I’ve learned about the man, Jesus hung with the sex-workers who were honest people and raged at the church-going hypocrites.

 

 

If practicing a religion helps someone, they should do it.  Just like hearing about practicing yoga or going to therapy, I’d be open to hearing about how participating in a religion benefits the person.  But when the person doesn’t know the difference between a set of faith-based beliefs and factual information, it becomes a very irrational conversation I want no part of.  The conversation ended when I got up and walked away.  It was the best statement I could make. 

I hope she likes how my ass looks because she’s going to be seeing it more often, walking away from her.  And I will aim to make it sinfully alluring.

 

 

 

 

 

 

……………

I’ll be performing stand-up comedy on Saturday, 3/7 in the Unboxed Voices Variety Show at the Parkside Lounge, 317 Houston St., NYC, 7:15-9pm. There will be musicians and burlesque and raffles. No cover.

Happy International Women’s Day on 3/8. 

And now, the moment you were waiting for.  Drumroll please.  The winners of a pair of tickets each to see the play, “Hunter Gatherers” – Powell Burns and Richard Ploetz. 

Tune in next week for a contest to win tickets to “Clinton The Musical.”