Remember When a Wrong Number May Have Only Meant a Little Heavy Breathing?

                                 

 

 

 

 

I had some time off from my day job.  That was really good timing.  I needed it.  The last thing that happened there was a clash with a "church-going woman" as she defined herself.  Oh Lord.  For such a cool and progressive man, certain of Jesus' followers are quite uptight.  Something fundamental got twisted in the translation.  Suffice it to say, I was glad to be saying good bye for a week.  'Cause I'm a "'fuck'-saying woman."

 

fuck  fuck fuck  FUCK  fuck!!!

 

Vulgarity and sarcasm are my other languages.  God knows, I need them.

And in case there was a chance of getting bored, I received a text from a wrong number on Easter Sunday that continued into Monday. 

 

• "Get ready baby for what I'm going to send you that's waiting for you when you come over tonight."
• Not recognizing the number, I wrote back that I didn't know him and it must be a mistake.  But before that could happen, his next text came and, yes, it was a dick pic.  Even before my penis-free era, this was not something I'd find appealing.  I wouldn't want a picture of any isolated part of the body, and certainly not a stranger's.  So it strikes me as disgusting.  It's very different when you are into somebody and it is part of them.  But this is just the dick, like having one makes anyone special.  So I was angry at receiving it, and I wanted to strongly discourage this.  I told him to get that ugly thing out of here and that maybe some dude would like it.
• "I am so so so so sorry.  It was a mistake.  I meant to send that to my girlfriend."
• I thought that could be true.  I wrote back "Ok" and deleted everything.
• later, another text:  "I'm really sorry about that mistake."
• I thought that was suspicious that he would continue contact.  I deleted it and didn't respond.
• later, another:  "Who are you?"
• deleted and didn't respond.
• "I accidentally sent you a picture of my penis earlier.  Could you delete it?"
• "Deleted it after seeing it."
• "Okay. Thank you."
• okay, what the fuck is this shit.  a new way to meet someone?  dick first?  smothered with lies?  dick and lies -- aaahh, makes me remember why I'm penis-free.
• "You said my penis was ugly.  Now I feel like I shouldn't send it to my GF."
• This is when I am unsure what is crazier -- his texts or that I actually would feel not okay about lowering someone's self-esteem, especially if it is so fragile and dependent on his penis.
• "The whole idea of anyone sending someone a dick pic is distasteful to me."
• many hours later: "Yeah but my dick don't look ugly."
• deleted and didn't respond.
• and another:  "I apologize for that tho.  Gd bye."
• deleted and didn't respond.

I hope this lovely conversation is over.  I wonder how the "church-going woman" would have handled it.  Goodness.  The man sounded hurt by the end.  Let this be a warning.  You want your dick to be admired?  Don't land it on my phone/in my living room uninvited.  It's really not a  difficult concept.  Thank you for your cooperation.

Mindy Matijasevic