Rules for the Young Mothers of Hoboken

Ladies, ladies, ladies.  I have held off on this necessary tirade for as long as I could.  Now, summer has arrived and it is high season for the young mother's of Hoboken to forget their manners.

Hoboken is one square mile.  That's it.  One mile that hosts a population of 50,000.  At one point, Hoboken was a sweet, little ole family town (well, with ties to the mafia...maybe that's not sweet).   Today, however, it has turned into an annoying old family town.  The early twenty somethings that landed a few years ago, have gotten older, planted roots and started families.  Along with these families, "mommy and me" groups have formed and have taken over the city. 



Everyone knows that when you decide to have children, you give up certain privileges.  One of those privileges is walking directly beside your friend on the sidewalk.  ESPECIALLY, when you both/all are pushing double wide strollers.  Just so you are aware (because I truly think that you have forgotten), other people are using the sidewalks.  Those said sidewalks aren't for baby pushing only.  And, I have some where to be.  That's why I am walking at a Jackie Joyner Kersee clip. Do everyone a favor and walk in a single file line.  Like we all learned in elementary school.


Another thing: please do not try to teach your kids to maneuver the stairs of the Path train during rush hours. This is EXACTLY the time when you DO NOT force your kids to hit a milestone.  Pick the child up and travel down the stairs at an adult pace.


When dining out, please try not to block the entrance to the restaurant with your freaking tanks (aka strollers).  We all have to use that door to get into the restaurant.  There is no special entrance for people without kids.


Yes, I know I am speaking to you from my high horse.  No, I don't have kids, nor, have I ever wanted them/will ever have them.  I do have two nieces, one is 3 and the other is 10 months...they both annoy me at times.  I wouldn't be a good mother and that is something that I am HIGHLY aware of.  On the other hand, YOU should be highly aware that you are in my way....a lot of the time.  I try to be understanding and would be more often if you all JUST PAID FUCKING ATTENTION TO WHAT IS GOING ON AROUND YOU!!  There are other people in Hoboken besides the young mothers' clubs.  All I ask is that you just be aware of your surroundings.  The non kid people just ask that you share the road.