She So Funny

I know.  I know.  Weird blog title.  All unrelated things that I'm going to talk about today.

Yesterday was the first Mother's Day / Ryan's Birthday (my oldest son) in which we broke tradition.  My family normally gathers at my aunt and uncle's house for Mother's Day / Birthday festivities, but as they were vacationing in Italy and my parents had tickets to a show on Broadway, we were left to our own devices.

A few weeks ago, Lee and I sat around contemplating how we would spend our day, when she suggested that we all go to Lips for brunch in NYC.  We had been to Lips about 3 years ago and had a FABULOUS time at the show.  For those unfamiliar, it's a drag show/brunch... a phenomenal drag show/brunch. OF COURSE!  Why didn't I think of that????  What teenage kid wouldn't want to go with their moms to a drag brunch??

And off we went.  Two adults, four children.  My youngest, Ethan, was clueless.  I made fun of Lee for her choice of sensible footwear... which couldn't hold a candle to my high heeled boots*.  When we walked in, the hostess, in all her bitchy glory, barked orders at the customers.  "What's your name?  How do you spell it?  Christ!  Doesn't anyone have normal names like Susan Jones anymore?  Go stand over there, and if you have any questions, I don't give a sh!t."

Getting ready for the first round of mimosas

and the second round of mimosas

Our Hostess!

Ethan came over to me and said, "Mom!  At first I thought that person at the counter was a guy.  Then I realized it was a lady."  That's when I had to explain the dynamic of the ENTIRE staff to my young blonde.

As the glamorous gals strutted their stuff, taking our orders and sassing the patrons, I took a gander at Ethan's facebook page: "Oh god already having a stressful day."  "OMFG!" "Oh, Damn what a big city this really is."

OMFG!

I decided to call him out on the stressful bullshit by pulling him aside and explaining that this day is a lesson in not taking oneself too seriously...to have a good time, to stop trying to be the "kid who's too cool for everything."  I also told him that it was MY day (ok, his brother's, too) and that he was making me sad by behaving in such a negative way.  After that, he had a blast.  GUILT.  Works every time.

As it was Ryan's birthday, he was brought to the stage with a line of other folks celebrating special events... by a charming fellow dressed as Little Orphan Annie.  He hammed it up like a champ.  Of course, there was chocolate cake drizzled with caramel syrup at the finish line.

It's a Hard Knock Life

The Sun'll Come Out TOMORROW!

The show was hilarious.  We all had a great brunch... the unlimited mimosas (for the adults) and the added bonus that Mommy Dearest was playing on the screen prior to the show!!!  My FAVORITE!

Funny how a bunch of gay guys are applauded for being rude and insulting to the patrons... AND people PAY for it!  If it had been a bunch of lesbians, they'd have been socked in the gut!

Following the show we had to hit a street fair for gifts since Lee is heading to Australia on business next month and needs to take .99 scarves to all of her pals down under.  As soon as we hit the streets in search of bargains, I was reminded of why wearing high heeled boots was a bad idea.  Every step was agony and the only cure was to purchase (for myself...F$%* the Aussies) 3 handbags, a pair of sunglasses AND THE MOST FABULOUS MOMMY DEAREST T-SHIRT E.V.E.R.!!!!!   No lie.  I met this adorable street vendor, Tom Sharp, who had a fantastic line of t-shirts (www.tomsharpnyc.com).  I told him that I do comedy and intend to wear it on stage (and to school) and he threw in an adorable NYC t-shirt.  Really.  Check him out.

Corny?

She insists she's not a hat person

No scarves here.

Coup de Grace

By the time we reached the parking garage (sans scarves... wasn't a cheap-o street fair) I felt like I was wearing boots made of razor blades, broken glass, needles, and nails on the inside (see Steve Martin's book, Cruel Shoes).  Now I was the one being mocked for my exquisite fashion sense.  HOW DARE THEY!

All in all it was a phenomenal day.

Of course, it's Monday and I had to rise at 5 to walk the Nunz at 5:30.  Suffice it to say, my feet have not recovered.   As we paused so that I could pick up his (3rd) morning constitutional, I felt as if I had somehow been condemned to the 8th Circle of Hell, Second Pouch...Malebolge.  Coincidentally, I am teaching that very CIRCLE in my English IV section TODAY... If you don't know what the punishment is in Malebolge, Google it.

The More You Know!

Have a great day everyone!!