Omarosa's Ambitions By Rhonda Hansome

  When we last left off, I was rummaging through mid-life choices like a bag lady on the “A” train looking for nothing in particular; while disturbing a bag’s contents in an urgent yet random search. Everything I touched took me deeper and farther from reality.

 My own personal 3 Stooges: 

  

Coulda/ Woulda/ Shoulda,

whirled in my head like hurricane Sandy leaving my mind a ravaged Jersey shore. In spite of the storm raging in my head I heard, (bewilderment, befuddlement, bemusement?) tucked beneath Twinkie’s nonchalant question, “Where do you see yourself?” Where do I see myself when I’ve decided to end my nearly decade long hiatus from the comedy scene? Making a list and checking it thrice. My “To Do” list rivaled the ambitions of

 Omarosa

“Networking” 

Hanging out and exchanging business cards with associates had changed -make that ended - make that dead ended. During my absence from the scene, the ubiquitous “business card” had disappeared faster than a Nubian Ibex in a flock of vultures.  

Hanging out had morphed into a totally (I dare not say “totes”) virtual experience.  To gather (in a manor of speaking) with like minded people, I joined groups on LinkedIn and Face Book and engaged in vociferous conversations with people I did not know, like or care about.   

I think I’m getting the hang of it now!

 “Electronic Presence” 

While I was ‘away’ not only did business cards disappear, but so did the usefulness of live performance save for it being an opportunity to record and post to the internet on any number of ‘platforms’ and websites including YouTube.   I have lost count of the videos I’ve viewed that are poorly composed in bad or NO lighting, with crappy sound AND  inane content; all racking up tons of ‘‘hits’ & ‘comments’ – electronic presence currency.  I was told of one person whose “numbers” were through the roof.  His content consisted of taking a dump on camera.  Get out of my way I want in on this!  

I got my website up, running & almost interactive.  I offer short comedy clips but WITHOUT an app that requires visitors to register or subscribe thereby “capturing the visitor’s contact info; my bad.  I lose 2 points. My website, www.RhondaHansome.com is a lovely sentence with a dangling participle. I’m on GigSalad where I consistently underbid on job possibilities and never book even one.  I ask every new friend (actually FaceBook strangers I would not know if on fire in front of me) to press the laugh button under MyComedyBook.com/RhondaHansome in hopes to be the featured comic in a corner of  cyber space populated ENTIRELY by funny people.

“Social Media” 

In spite of the fact I STILL have no concrete evidence that “social media” will lead to anything other than severe carpal tunnel syndrome; I threw myself into the social media fray with an abandon surpassed only by the enthusiasm of divers on Splash.  

                                                                     

I actively post on twitter, FaceBook, tumblr, and have been asked by more than several online groups to limit or cease & desist my voluminous contributions.  Oh and if you are reading this there is no need to mention I blog.  Every damn THURSDAY I spew heart, soul and funny.  My little spoon hitting a tin cup in the clattering cacophony of the bloated blogosphere.  Well after taking a $400.00 course in social media, I became an overzealous convert determined to get my money’s worth…someday.

“Engage Gatekeepers”

And this is where Twinkie comes in.  I’d resisted paying to ‘interact’ with a Casting Director until I finally realized that if I did not pay I would not ever be seen and considered in the running for possible paying work.  

Twinkie Byrd

had a track record, she cast projects that actually hired black folks, and she had the most adorable name. What’s $40.00 for 5 minutes Alex?

To be continued...