She So Funny

I have taken it upon myself to explain the meaning behind Easter - for those of you who don't know that Bible all that well, this is how it goes:

Today is the day that Jesus rode a hot air balloon into space one million years ago.  Days before his adventure, Jesus was killed after getting into a bar brawl with a motor cycle club called the Hell's Angels.  Jesus was talking to one of the Hell's Angel's old ladies and that really pissed some people off.  So, the
President of the MC punched Jesus  in the face until his face fell off.  The MC then took Jesus' body to a lake, strapped cement blocks to his feet and dumped it.

Then out of nowhere, a large rabbit, who could walk on water, ran into the lake and picked Jesus' body out of the water.  To the rabbit's surprise, Jesus was still alive.  So, the rabbit took Jesus back to the bunny trail and nursed him back to life with chocolate eggs.  There was one problem, Jesus still didn't have a face.  So, the town of rabbits all pitched in and bought Jesus a new face.  But, because the rabbits loved joking around, they hid Jesus' new face behind a tree and made him hunt for it.

2 days later, the Wizard of Oz and Glenda, the good witch, showed up in a hot air balloon.  The entire lollypop guild and the town of bunnies were so excited about the visit that they offered Jesus up for a sacrifice.  But, in true crazy rabbit  fashion, this was just a joke and everyone had a good laugh. 

Oz then gave Jesus his hot air balloon and told him to "have a good time".   So, Jesus entered space into the balloons GPS and off he went.  The rabbits, the guild, Oz and Glenda all waved goodbye to Jesus and that was the last anyone saw of him.

Some scientists thinks that he is living on one of Jupiter's moons, some think that he left the Milky Way all together.  I personally think that he is back on Earth, living in Montana and is working as a river guide.

And that, my friends, is the story of Easter.

picture taken from sodahead.com