It Looks Like My Penis-Free Era Might Be Continuing in Full Swing

It Looks Like My Penis-Free Era Might Be Continuing in Full Swing

by Mindy Matijasevic

 

How does a healthy libido become dry pussy?  Well, for starters how about centuries of being referred to as a bitch, slut, whore, old lady, ball and chain, ruined, damaged, girl, babe, broad, chick, hen, cow, old bag, hoe, heffer, cunt, and old maid. 

Moist yet?   

                                                                           

Courtship:  Call me.

Foreplay:   I said I’d make you an omelet in the morning and even throw in a lunch.

Clit throbbing?  Mine neither. 

Possible solutions?  Gee, one might be he facing his fear of genuine closeness.  Another might be perusing the drug store aisles for some vaginal stimulator product to fix everything.

The bright side:  Though it took a long-ass time to get it right, when it comes to human interaction, I listen to my body.  And in this instance, I mean I obey it because it has always tried to steer me right.  Whether a pounding heart or a lump in the throat or a tense stomach or a disappointed vagina, I listen. It’s a matter of honoring that primal intelligence.  It tells me when to hold my heart and keep walking.  It tells me when not to swallow what someone is serving.  It tells me when I’m letting in toxicity.  I’m not perfect, but I have a lot less regrets now. 

So fellas, when I take my heart and my mind and walk away, my vagina comes with me.  If you just want a vagina without the attachments, they sell them in the store.  They are inflatable and, better yet, deflatable for your needs.  You don’t even have to pretend to like them once you’re done.  Just go to your local adult store and treat yourself to a woman you can’t hurt.  They should be right next to the roofies. 

Happy Valentine’s Day.