Checklist

By Samantha DeRose

My parents just celebrated their 55^th wedding anniversary.  FIFTY-FIVE YEARS!  Weird, right?  I think I can attribute much of their marital success to their ability to laugh.  All the time.  Mostly at my expense...but in a good way.

As a kid, I always envisioned that I’d have a relationship like theirs when I grew up.  They’re loving, considerate, well-read, patient, kind, and loads of fun. When the going got tough, my parents got goofy.  My father’s twisted humor combined with my mother’s silly nature made for the perfect childhood environment.  Don’t get me wrong.  We’ve had our ups and downs as does every family, but they gave me the gift of love and laughter… the key components to a lasting relationship.

My marriage to my kids’ father was rather short-lived.  We have two great kids together and that’s where I’ll leave it.   But as my marriage came to an end, I wondered if I’d ever find a relationship that would live up to what my parents have.  Was I fooling myself into thinking that I’d ever find this type of happiness?

And then it happened.  I met someone who filled every item on my checklist.

Relationship Checklist:

Laughs at my jokes...ok most of my jokes.  They’re not all winners, you know. Check.

Makes my kids laugh, usually at my expense...but in a good way. Check.

Makes me laugh, usually at my expense...but in a good way.  Check.

Has a twisted and sometimes, ok, mostly inappropriate sense of humor. Check.

Would do anything for me and kids. Check.

Doesn’t mind that I wear the same clothes every day over school breaks because the clothes really only become very comfortable by the 4^th day. Check.

Well-read. Check.

Well-rounded (i.e, enjoyed the movie Jackass -1, 2, 2.5, 3D, 3.5 -  as much as The King’s Speech). Check.

Ambitious. Check.

Can laugh at oneself – especially when thinking that Gary Busey’s name is “Gary DeBussey” Check.

Doesn’t get angry when slipping on a cat turd. Check.

Finds the word “turd” as funny as I find it.  Check.

Does get angry at having to clean dog vomit, but we’ll give a pass to that one.   Check.

Isn’t repulsed when I occasionally “crimp off a breakfast biscuit”.  OK, it’s more than occasional.  Check.

Shares cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping (buys junk food that I like), and laundry responsibilities. Check.

Doesn’t have a problem with my large, unladylike feet. Check.

Bought a helium tank just to inhale it and talk all day long.  Check.

Entered a Super Bowl pool one year, thought they won a LOT of money after the game only to realize that they had been rooting for the wrong team throughout the entire game.  Check.

Also thought that Beyonce's song Halo was "Hate Love."  Check.

Originally thought that Beyonce was pronounced "Bay Once."  Check

Tolerates my every whim… i.e., coloring, singing stupid song parodies, crafting, painting, playing guitar, playing piano, behaving like a deranged person in public, watching Downton Abbey marathons. Check.

And the list goes on. Check.

It’s amazing how things fall into place in life when you find someone who fulfills your checklist.  When the going gets tough, and it does get tough sometimes…we  certainly get goofy.  And that makes all the difference. Thanks for the most essential life lesson, Mom & Dad.

…and thank you Lee