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Saturday, November 17, 2012

OBSTACLE COURSE POINT VALUES

By Lisa Harmon

OBSTACLE
PARKING SPACE 50 POINTS
Get car out of space without losing mirror on the pillar or hitting any of the other cars parked precariously close.

OBSTACLE
4 WAY STOP 50 POINTS
Navigate the four way stop between yourself, two people that don’t know rules of the road and one guy that just blows right through while the other two are thinking.

OBSTACLE
NARCOLEPTIC GUY MAKING A LEFT 50 POINTS
Make a left turn even though you’re stuck behind a guy that stopped for pedestrians, then forgot to get going again.

OBSTACLE
NO PARKING  100 POINTS
Find parking at your destination by aggressively following people with keys, making very fast, sharp turns, and learning how to find parking where no one else can.  Have you tried murder alley?  There are usually spots back there.

OBSTACLE
NO MONEY  100 POINTS
You finally make it to the store but you have no cash.  Find a way to get your munchies with debit/credit or five-finger discount.

OBSTACLE
YOUR OBNOXIOUS FRIEND IS IN THE BODEGA  150 POINTS
Find a way out of the bodega before your friend notices you and hits you up for a twenty because his mother is being a bitch.

OBSTACLE
GUY LEANING ON YOUR CAR   150 POINTS 
WITH A 40 OZ. IN A BAG  200 POINTS
Get across that you’re pulling out now without engaging miscreants.

OBSTACLE
BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND IS A JERK      500 POINTS
Ditch the loser and keep your self respect.
Avoid a scene:  150 POINT BONUS

OBSTACLE
THAT TIME OF THE MONTH.  Lose 100 points.
Two Motrin:   25 POINT BONUS
 
OBSTACLE
YOUR MATERIAL SUCKS  1000 POINTS
Work that material.  Whip it into shape.  Get on it.  There’s something funny in there.  Get going.

OBSTACLE
YOU THINK YOU COULD BE PREGNANT.  LOSE 5 MILLION POINTS.
YOU’RE NOT PREGNANT AFTER ALL!  YOU WIN!
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3 comments:

  1. She So FunnyNovember 17, 2012 at 8:32 AM

    So, you're not going to lend me that $20? ~Samantha

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNovember 17, 2012 at 8:40 AM

    Sure I will! I don't think you'd ask quite like that! lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mindy MatijasevicNovember 23, 2012 at 8:19 AM

    since i don't drive, much of those points don't apply to me. however, i think i should earn loads of points for not killing street harrassers and my ex. i love your 'ditch the loser and keep your self respect' for 500 points. i'd earn those points now, but i needed to learn that so long ago. grrrr. forget about the bonus for avoiding a scene. i think we lived in a scene. a bad bad scene.

    ReplyDelete