by
Rhonda Hansome
So I was
darning my thong. “Darn you thong, darn you!” Yes that’s right, I took needle & thread to a few
erstwhile unmentionables. If you
follow me, @RhondaHansome, on twitter (I thank you* for your slave like attention
to my every tweet, your well-chosen retweets and quick witted - 140 character
or less – replies) then you know my income and I are doing a trial separation,
hence the economically driven thong darning. If you don’t follow me on twitter, you
must do so immediately or be forever bereft of my haiku like musings on world
politics, rollerblading and my allergy to cats.
Darning my
thong is a productive activity and makes me feel like I’ve stolen a moment from
the last century. My mind is focused
in an almost meditative way on mending the delicate lace that, if left
unattended, unravels like cotton candy in a hurricane. I sit quietly engaged in the womanly art
of sewing and for seven, almost eight minutes I examine my life. Yes Dear Reader* while darning my
thong, I contemplate life’s turns and if a tear glistens in my eye, it’s
probably the result of an errant aim with my needle; not some longing for the
unattainable or will never be.
I admire my
handiwork and feel frugal; aww shit there’s that damn glistening again… I’ll
just pause for a minute and stuff those god forsaken feelings back down and
into place where they skulk about waiting for any opportunity to escape – much
like my muffin top. Ahem, as I was
saying, I admire my handiwork, feel frugal, composed and ready to meet the
challenges before me, like cajoling a room full of strangers to laughter.
It’s not the
most comfortable feeling and yet I love the experience, much like wearing a
thong.
Join me and
some of the funniest needles in the haystack, when I headline Stand-UP for
ESTRO this Saturday at 10 PM, Nov, 17th. Buy your ticket now http://estrogenius.org/stand-up-for-estro/ or pay your five dollars at the door
of TBG, 312 W. 36th St. 3rd Fl. Get high volume fun while feeling thrifty. You’ll laugh ‘til you cry and you’ll
know I’m wearing a thong.
* All 3 of
you
looking forward to seeing you and the others in person!
I hate thongs but I loved this blog!
I have some granny panties in need of a mending. Any takers? ~Samantha