Worlds Apart...That's the way I like them!

Mixing my worlds gives me anxieties.  I don't like for my comedy friends to mingle with my real world friends, nor my real world friends to mingle with my surfing friends, nor my stupid day job friends (my day job friends aren't stupid...just the jobs are stupid) mingling with my comedy friends. I like to keep my shit separate, but equal.  Some people are really good about cross pollinating.  I am not one of them.  My husband doesn't even come to my comedy shows.

To be honest, I'm a different person in each of my worlds.  I'm fucking out of my mind in the real world, a little guarded in the comedy world, fucking out of my mind in the work world (I like to push the boundaries as far as possible) and hyper competitive in my anything athletic world.  When a person wants to cross worlds, I make sure that I do everything to not let that happen - which leads me to lying.  A lot.  For example, I give wrong dates for comedy shows, or just not give the dates at all.  If you are not a comedian, you probably don't really, really get comedy.  So...if I"m talking about comedy or doing comedy, I only want to be around comics.  I don't have the patience to explain shit to non comics, nor listen to ideas on how to make my jokes better from someone who thinks that Larry the Cable Guy is pure genius.

On the flip side, most comics can't hold down a real job, therefore they don't understand the bullshit that comes along with office work.  Most successful comics have never held an office job...so, they tend not to be able to relate to 9-5 bullshit.  They think that all offices are full of  Dwight and Michael Scott high jinks.


I am crazy- aggressively competitive in the athletic world.  I was raised in a family where athletics meant everything and academics meant something.  I have no problem challenging a world class athlete to a foot race or tennis match or push ups.  I talk trash like nobody's business.  You won't see this part of me in any of my other worlds.  It's probably not so becoming.  If I were to play any type of game with a group of comedians, I would never get booked on any show ever again.  I'm out for blood when it comes to sports.

Miss Bean

Calvin

Now that I think about it, there are two people who cross over with no issues and without giving me an anxiety attack...that is my two dogs.  Sir Calvin Broadus II, Vice Mayor of Yorkville and Greta Maria Frijoles, aka Miss Bean.  They are the only two that travel with me everywhere.  And, they are both dicks.  Maybe that's why.  Calvin and Beans are always welcome in any of my worlds.  And, only them.