Look, I'm not stupid. Putting up a Facebook status that says one thing and means another is not something that goes over my head. I PICK UP ON THAT SHIT! In this week’s Friday blog post, I try to demystify what people are typing, in
hopes to reveal what’s really going on in their hearts. These
are statuses taken verbatim from my Facebook feed.
“Getting a good workout in first thing in the morning feels
GOOD son!”
What that means: You’re making up for lack of size where it really matters.
“I need a haircut!!!!”
What that means: You can’t afford a haircut!!!! (it’s ok, neither
can I)
“Monday. Night. Football.”
What that means: The women you date probably have a lot of
girl’s nights
“I’ll be rooting for my boys at Penn State!! WE ARE!!!
<3”
What that means: Your favorite thing about football is the
beer and attention you get from those booty shorts.
“Breaking Bad is an awesome show”
What that means: You have fabulous taste in television.
“Why do dogs love rolling in their own poop!!!!!???? #gross”
What that means: You don’t use big words often
“Girls suck”
What that means: No, no. I'm pretty sure it's you.
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