Amy Loves Fortune Tellers

Last night I had my Tarot cards read.  My “fortune” was spot on.

I love Fortune Tellers.  I have spent many a dollar on trying to get a leg up on my future.  When I lived in LA, I wired money to a psychic in Philadelphia so I could have a 30 minute card reading.  She told me, “In 7 to 77 years, [I] would be successful”.  Fuck yeah!  Can’t wait!  She also said, “In 7 to 77 years [I] would surrounded by animals”.  So true.  I have 2 dogs.

When I was in college, I went alone to a VERY sketchy house (there was a woman hooked up to an oxygen tank on the couch in the living room.  She actually might have been dead and the oxygen was just for show) to see a psychic to find out if I would end up being a Cardiologist.  Look at me now….I pass out at the sight of blood.  Nailed it!

I also have had my Angel cards read.  That was a delightful experience.  The reader informed me that I was having an identity crisis and  asked if I was considering a sex change.  I wasn’t…but, after the reading, I contemplated adding a penis to my anatomy…because the cards said so.

My advice is to always live your life by the cards.  It’s the only way to get your life right.