She So Funny

The inside right door of my refrigerator is completely stocked.  So much so, that by looking at my condiment door, one would think that I was a millionaire.  I have every condiment known to man.  I have about 4 different types of  mayonnaise, 5-7 types of mustard, hot sauce galore, salsas, chutneys, ketchup (yummy), a plethora of vinegars, BBQ sauce, steak sauces,  wostershire sauce, horseradish (well, all of the makings for a Bloody Mary), of course some packets of duck sauce, and finally, my all-time favorite  - salad dressing. 

I have always loved salad dressing.  I started out my salad career with ranch dressing and quickly moved over to blue cheese.  I dabbled a little in French, honey mustard, creamy Italian, creamy parmesan, Poppy seed, etc.  However, once the delectable taste of vinaigrette hit my tongue, I never turned back.  Vinaigrette is the greatest culinary creation ever.  Balsamic vinaigrette, red wine vinaigrette, Greek vinaigrette, artichoke vinaigrette, lemon – garlic vinaigrette, shallot vinaigrette, Caesar vinaigrette….I can go on and on by putting any word in front of vinaigrette.  I enjoy a good salad and understand the health benefits, but there is nothing I love more than a soggy vinaigrette salad.

Let’s be honest here…I drink vinaigrette.  I can’t get enough of the shit.  I used to hide my disgusting habit…actually duck into the women’s bathroom at my day job, to have my salad dressing time.  Now, I wear it proudly....on my face.  My favorite is Pret a Manger’s Balsamic Vinaigrette.  I could drink vats and vats of it….maybe even bathe in it.  Sometimes, Pret’s vinaigrette is the best part of my day.  I could be run over by a taxi, hit in the face by a homeless person then shot in the knee by Ted Nugent …but, follow that up with a cup of vinaigrette, suddenly everything is better and all is forgotten.  Vinaigrette is my Calgon.

In conclusion, give me vinaigrette, or give me death!