TheFreeDictionary.com definition:
heck·le
tr.v. heck·led, heck·ling, heck·les
1. To try to embarrass and annoy (someone speaking or
performing in public) by questions, gibes, or objections; badger.
2. To comb (flax or hemp) with a hatchel.
n.
heck*ler
1.
Someone who tries to embarrass you with gibes and questions and
objections.
Now, from UrbanDictionary.com:
heckler
a person who says shit while someone
is trying to do stand-up comedy to screw him up cuz he's an asshole or if the
act completley sucks.
*”completely”
was spelled incorrectly on the site. I made no changes.*
Either definition works for me. I love hecklers. I will explain.
I am a very aggressive person and I
don’t get around to psychotherapy as much as I should. I have no problem taking out my shit on
someone who wants to “help out” my act from their seats. I love it when I confront a heckler after a
show and he/she will say, “I was just trying to help you out”. I DON’T NEED ANY FUCKING HELP…thank you
anyway. I can be mean…really mean. I grew up in a very mean family. I have mean running through my veins and am
always waiting for an opportunity to spray that mean all over anyone who may or may not deserve it. Sometimes my response is funny, sometimes
awkward…either way, I feel better.
My hecklers are not limited to one
gender. I have had one older woman stand
up and say, “you depress me!!!”, then she stormed out of the venue (I was
talking about how I wish that I had a ballsac, so I could star in teabag
porn. I think “depress” was not the word
she was looking for). I had another
woman tell me that I “make her not proud to be a woman” (I think I was showing
the cellulite on the back of my legs from eating fat free hot dogs 5 times a
day). I’ve had a man say, “Yo, you is
stupid”. He got me with that one.
I am also known to turn a possible
non-heckler into a heckler. If an
audience member is having their own conversation while I am on stage, I want to
be a part of it. It usually ends with me
saying, “shut the fuck up!!’ and the audience member leaving the show.
In conclusion, if you ever see me
perform, please, feel free to join in. I’m
sure that I will have missed therapy by a couple of months at that point. Yo, my shrink is expensive and shit!
 |
| Bring it on, you weird looking old men. I would say something like, "what the fuck is wrong with your faces and shit?". Golden. |
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