Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness. 

And I should know since I’m a freakin’ Goddess, gosh darnit!

Crap, where did the week go?  Seriously- this summer is flying by!  A sign of age according to the saying (I hate that term, “the saying”, yet I use it all the time).  I just think it’s that I’m so overbooked and overwhelmed. 

Now my blog entry is due.  Arrggh!  (Yes, deadlines turn me into a pirate).

What the &^%$ to write about? 

I perform stand up a great deal these days and I feel like anything worth saying I’ve already said on stage, albeit full of profanity and not appropriate for conservative folks or small children.

Writing.

I did a stint for a few months as ghostwriter.  It damn near killed me.  I hadn’t written a serious composition in YEARS.  And by years, I mean Ever.  The experience drove me close to a mental and physical breakdown due to my obsessesion with the grade, the subject matter and of course the deadline.

I was on a mission and the resultant adrenaline made me feel great.  And afterwards I felt absolutely euphoric. 

Now I feel kinda crummy.  Ghost writing isn’t honest. 

I place a lot of value in having integrity, honoring my word and “doing the right thing”. 

I’m a lot of things, but a lying, cheating scumbag I’m not.

What to do? 

It’s behind me.  Move forward and take it as a lesson learned. 

I hate to admit it, but I do miss the assignments. 

Yet this blog entry is an assignment of sorts and here I sit typing nonsensically on my MacBook. 

Write something meaningful!  Witty!  Silly! 

But it’s late and I’m fried. As I said, I’ve been performing a lot.  Big time paid gigs too (sounds cooler than it is to be honest).

No, I don’t have vids on YouTube.  I don’t like videos of my stand up.  I’m better live.  And I’m not just talking about comedy.  Me in person is fantastic. 

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying I’m fantastic.  I just do “in person” really well.  I think it has something to do with my big eyes, my animated body language and propensity for hugging. (That’s what I will have on my rider: “propensity for hugging” to stave off any sexual harassment suits and or unwanted advances).

Truth be told, I’m a tad stressed. 

I have a packed weekend ahead of me.  I need to come up with a clean set for a charity show I’m hosting and prep for a round of media interviews.  When I first started stand up I was so sweet and clean.  Now I talk about “adult” subjects.  But the big gigs want you to be “family friendly”.  (Insert more pirate sounds).

Hey, I’m clean in this blog post as evidenced by my use of colloquialisms in lieu of expletives. (Yay clever me)! But that’s just because I’m paranoid my Father, niece/ nephews or the kid I tutored will read this.  Also, I haven’t exactly written an exhaustive analysis of Madame Bovary. 

I do plan to write more introspective and incisive entries.  (Now I’m apologizing for my entry.  Niiice.  Way to keep the readers engaged Mooney).

It’s just that I have to clean up my act, keep it clean and I’m kinda freaking out about it at this very moment.

Integrity and honor are one thing, but not being able to do my signature porn bit is asking too much mister! That joke is art I tell ya!